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Join us in this enlightening episode of Expat Experts as we dive deep into the challenges and joys of moving abroad with kids, featuring the insightful Carole Hallet Mobbs. As an experienced expat mom, Carole shares her valuable relocation advice and personal stories that shed light on the unique experiences of parenting abroad. Discover essential tips for cultural adjustment, navigating expat life, and overcoming the common relocation challenges faced by families. This podcast is packed with practical insights designed to support expat families during their transition and help them thrive in a foreign environment. Whether you're contemplating a move or already on your journey, this episode offers a wealth of knowledge on expat parenting, cultural exchange, and settling into your new home. Tune in for a blend of heartfelt expat stories and expert insights that will inspire and equip you for global living with your family. Don't miss out on this essential guide to making your international move a success!
*Episode parts:*
0:00 - Intro
1:18 - The expat: Carole Hallet Mobbs
6:40 - Navigating the Cultural Maze: A Family's 12-Year Journey
16:00 - When the Earth Shook: Leaving Japan After the 2011 Earthquake
30:39 - Facing Culture Shock in Africa: A Lonely Start
48:27 - Follow us!
49:17 - The expert: Helping parents move abroad
50:05 - Turning Anxiety into Action: How Expat Child Was Born
58:18 - Pandemic Podcasting: From Banana Bread to Broadcasting
1:08:52 - Outro
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*About Expat Experts:*
Expats Experts is an interview video-podcast where guests from around the world who are currently living or used to live outside of their home land share their experiences as foreigners. On top of that, we discuss and analyse a topics that the guest has experience with and if living abroad changed it.
Episode Transcript:
in today's episode we are thrilled to bring you an inspiring story of resilience and adaptability Our Guest is
a British mother who spent over 12 years with her child and her husband leaving abroad before returning to the UK she's
also the founder of the exper child.com host of the Podcast expectability chat
podcast and also the founder of the expectability club please join me welcoming Carl
harlet mops
this is expat experts the podcast that dives into the fascinating lives of those who've lived and worked across
boarders exploring the challenges experiences and insights they've gained along the
way before we dive into today's episode I want to remind all our listeners that the best way to stay tuned with our
latest episodes is to hit the Subscribe button in YouTube or in your favorite audio platforms for extra content and
exclusive uh ways of seeing how the podcast is produced but also one-on-one calls on how to create your own podcast
YouTube channel or navigating the life as an expert please visit our website expat experts podcast.com or check the
link in the description the expat Carol howlet
mobs let's start with it because I suppose you have a lot of stories to
tell well I'm not a baby so yes I've got a lot of life behind me
but yeah we moved overseas in 2006 and we moved to Japan in Tokyo and my
daughter was five years old just turned five years old at the time and my husband got a job over there and so we
moved for what was going to be four years and turned out to be about five oh I I met worst that people who
who decided to be like four months somewhere and stayed for life oh very
much so that that that comes over usually they're moving overseas For Love or they've moved overseas and then they
fall in love and then they St but we always knew that it was going to be a posting with an end date we were lucky
to be able to push the end date a little little bit so was it was it with the final date due to the fact of a contract
with your husband or you knew that it was a temporary yeah we always knew that
it was a temporary posting we expected to come back to the okay after that but we then got uh Berlin and Germany and
then from Berlin unexpectedly got an offer in South
Africa and then they realized that he hadn't been home for 12 years and said that's it you've got to come back so we
moved back to the UK in 2018 into the coldest winter that they've had for a long time from summer
in South Africa so that was a bit of a shock crazy and on all of that you had
children so you just said like you had your daughter already the first move so she was already five years old she was
five I've only got the one she's more than enough but yeah she she'd literally
only done one term of schooling here in the UK so it was pretty easy to move a
5-year-old to another country but then when you move a kid of you know for
about the age of 8 9 10 oh it gets more difficult and then you get a teenager
and well yeah that's what I was going to ask I suppose to move to Japan for her was
probably more like a cultural shock than a than a thing like for all of you
probably you know like because the cultures are way they're very different no intriguingly the move to Japan was
actually the easiest and I think well I think I know a lot of it is
because we're expecting it to be incredibly culturally different so we are expecting culture
shock and over the years that I've worked in what I call the exosphere I've realized that culture shock isn't
actually a thing at a it's moments little snapshots of time um take
going to China for example that can be a bit of a a culture shock because you'll walk around the corner and find find
yourself in the middle of a live market and that for a Westerner is quite a shock but in
Japan you're expecting something different and boy do you get it it is an
incredible place I mean I'll go for a walk take the dog for a walk in Japan and I'll see somebody taking their
monkey for a walk or they've got a rabbit in a baby sling or they're pushing a push chair full of doggies
with clothes on and sunglasses so yeah my life revolves around animals
and Wildlife I do go off on little side quests about animals so pull me back in
so yeah it's little moment it's little moment I know you
moved with BS also and I will ask you about that also afterwards because I've been there not always easy yeah I think
it's probably easier with pets than it is with
kids I suppose they don't have that much of like I don't know how did you feel it with your daughter but but the fact that
you say okay the first move with 5 years old was the easy one yeah it's probably
also because the circle of friends the the the whole fact of learning a language or like or leaving something
that they call home no at that point of time with five home are your parents yeah with with 15 home are your friends
no probably like that's the main difference at that point yeah it starts changing at about the age of 8 N9 10 um
and that's when they move away from Mom and Dad as being their entire life and
recognizing that they quite like these other people that aren't you and then
and also it's to do with proportions so we moved at F uh when she
was five her conscious memory if you like of the UK wasn't that much but she
spent five years in Japan at a very core age you know between 5 and 10 so she'll
remember a lot more of Japan than she did of the UK at the time and it it sort
of grows in proportion so down to the very first timey move
really what what about language wise like you you went to a very difficult
one I mean you went from a very difficult one to another difficult one to another difficult one probably no like it's it's I mean South Africa it's
not one it's a lot of languages depending on where where you live in South Africa so it is let's let's be
honest everybody speaks English okay what about Japan how how
how was the yeah well we had about about a Year's notice before we moved but I
actually um was running my own business I ran a publishing company before we moved so I didn't actually have time to
learn the language because I was too bus busy doing um it was a magazine hard
copy magazine and um and also then selling it because
I needed to sell it before I moved so it was about two nights I think before we caught the flight to Japan
that I actually watched a program on television about the gisha of
Kyoto and of course it was in Japanese with subtitles and I oh my goodness I um I
can't even pick out a syllable I can't understand a word this is going to be
interesting but once you're in the country and you're surrounded by the
sounds and the um I put the radio on in the car for example I always listen to
the local radios and you start being able to separate um syllables I am no
linguist I'm from the UK we don't start language training until we're 11 so it's very hard for an adult in my
generation daughter was speaking sentences in Japanese within about a month of starting school so not bad
yeah yeah I mean I mean that's also one of the advantages I suppose when they are kids like
they yeah they just absorb and they don't have the self-consciousness that we have they
don't mind using the pronunciation um you know and mimicking
if you like but as an adult they don't have also the stigma no yeah I'm saying
it wrong I'm I'm not doing this or I'm mocking or I feel like I'm mocking the language in front of them exactly yeah
so it is easier for a child and they pick it up and I I've got a feeling that once they've got one language it sort of
opens up the neurons in the brain to quickly pick up other languages I've got friends who speak seven eight nine
languages I can barely get by in English so but supp that's that's always like
when you start opening a little bit of like the doors to other things uh you start realizing I I have a very weird
experience with this and it's just like German helps you to learn Greek this is something that you would never consider
for example and that's because the grammatic of both languages are the same so
um it it happens of course like as more languages you add to your repertoire let's say like this the easiest is to to
10:06
to learn other new ones or at least I feel like that um what about think you
do I think sorry schoolwise like did it your
10:18
daughter went into a you like English school or was she starting in Japanese
school no no um I don't personally believe in dropping a child into a monol
language school if um well for lots and lots of reasons
but because we thought we were only well we knew we were only going to be there for a certain number of years and she would be moving back to the UK we kept
her in the British educational system so British International School
and as I say things didn't quite we didn't you know my uh crystal ball
didn't work so yeah so uh they did language and a lot of cultural uh
lessons in school but it was taught in English and okay yeah so yeah makes
makes sense it's also something that I also get quite often no when you have an end date and you have like a date limit
you also I don't know you take things different from a different perspective you don't I don't know you don't fully
emerge from days one on like oh I need to be here forever no so
um how much did you feel that you entered the the the Japanese culture how
much you end being in it well I recognize
that Japanese is a very pure culture and
looking as I do I can never be fully immersed I can't be Japanese apart from
the fact I'm six foot tall they would direct me to the men's department if I want to choose
so you're never quite sure how to take me but I recognize that it doesn't
12:06
matter if I wear full kimono to school and speak Japanese like a native I can still never be
Japanese and mind you it's the same in some Villages here in the UK if your
great-grandparents weren't born in that same house you're still an outsider so
yeah but uh yeah it is a very different lifestyle when you know that you'll be
moving on and for some people it means that they will stay in their exat bubble and they
will only mix with people of their own nationality and they won't even venture
to even try local food for example they will only have the McDonald's or it's a
bit like people who go on holiday to an all-inclusive resort
yeah I don't yeah so it's difficult I try and get
into the minds of other people but there are some I can't do yeah I get it I mean at the same time
like you really go to Japan and you don't try the local food like this is
13:12
like I don't know I you've been like probably eating sushi that it doesn't
resemble any clothes to real sushi in Japan for quite a long time
so yeah I'm disappointed at English
13:29
ah I can't get it it it is really different like you notice like it is a
complete different worldall of f wise or what yeah absolutely um fish I don't
know you know I I know a lot of animals and birds and wildlife and a few fish
but there are fish that appear in a sushi and sashimi restaurant that I don't have a clue about um but I would
try anything once I went to a sshi bar Japanese friend of mine took me to a
behind the scenes Sushi one that wasn't for tourists they were very surprised to
see me there and I just pointed something at random and was um he said
to my friend is she sure she wants that are you sure yeah yeah cuz she would
like to um dare me to eat stuff yeah give that to her that's fine it wasn't
the nicest it was very rich and then she told me it was whale
14:29
oh [ __ ] don't go yeah there we go it was
14:37
yeah then she would invite me for breakfast and offer me baby octopus for
so yeah she was okay what what about the amount of
14:50
people this is something that I always don't know how how I would deal with the
because you lived in Tokyo like the city it's itself yeah it's a very populated
dence city like how how did you deal with un cop with it didn't bother me in the slightest because I used to live in
15:09
London and yeah and also being that much over everybody even in London it's
easier for me I'm not stuck in somebody's armpit on the tube but yeah I didn't personally notice that it was
15:23
overly busy it was yeah it was just a city as far as
15:28
I'm concern and it wasn't wasn't crazy like Beijing and Beijing crossing the
road feels scary but Japan their whole ethos is respect for others so you never
felt barged or you know it was a very calm place I I find it
incredible ni when does it comes the move to Berlin
15:54
I think I I read in in the website or I heard in the in in your podcast about
the the earthquake in 2011 and being a little bit
16:07
trigger it wasn't the trigger we had we were supposed to go the previous year
got an extension I think we were supposed to go the previous November but for schooling reasons they gave us an
extension so we were due to leave in the April of 2011 and then of course on
March 11th was the nine magnitude earthquake so we didn't leave because of
the earthquake but it did make leaving so much harder for logistical reasons
and uh frankly mental health reasons it was we didn't have a Time to Say Goodbye
to anybody we wanted to leave but we didn't want to leave and fair amount of
PTSD as well so yeah the leadup to
leaving Japan was really really tough on my daughter regardless of the earthquake
because she was at that age then we were moving somewhere that she'd never been before I'd never been before but I'm an
adult I can see into the future and I can understand Concepts but children
cannot they can only reference something based on their little experiences of the
17:21
past so it was a a difficult move anyway
and then the earthquake made it just absolutely uh impossible to deal with so
17:33
but we finally got out and we landed in Berlin I think it was about 2 o'clock in the morning eventually and okay and then
that was it yeah and that was a Berlin I mean I get because I look
German apparently so therefore everyone expected um everyone expected me to
speak fluent German um failed my O Level My GCSE German but
because I apparently look German I was expected to understand all the rules and everybody
18:10
so that when you see lots of people uh that look like you in a country that you
kind of assume is going to be similar to Western Europe all over yeah it's
18:23
not and especially Berlin it's a whole case on its own I think like I mean if
you would to go now probably they will speak you more in in English than in German but uh I think this is like
gentrification of the whole city is happening very fast um but in that case
like what what shocked you the most when you arrived to Berlin I mean besides the the whole shock that you were uh having
from from the move from Japan and and the situation that it was giving back you remember anything that you say oh
okay I remember that point from when I arrived to Berlin um not so much we were kind of
Tangled Up in a load of school issues um trying to choose a school from the other
side of the world where you can't go and visit is really tough so we put her into
19:15
a school that and the other thing is we don't know where we're going to live until we get there so we don't get to
choose where we live we're just given this this is where you live and it was miles away from her school and her
School ended up being um just 10 children in the entire year beautiful
School beautiful GRS but 10 kids who had all been there from the age of
six so that wasn't great and none of them spoke English even though they've
19:47
been at this international school for very long and then came so we arrived in
19:53
April and by June we had found out accidentally
the school was turning into a government run school where they do half the
lessons in German and half in English so daughter was already
schooling and yeah and it we had a whole year of major School issues so that's
kind of where my brain was when we first arrived in Berlin makes sense it didn't really get
any better yeah German education system it's
great yeah they needed funding from the government so had to run by their rules which was half and half Bilingual
School how how many years did you spend them in Germany point or wasn't two
years just two years because then my husband was asked to go and run uh South
Africa so everybody else was saying oh you can't go to South Africa it's too
dangerous and go just just go
was it was it this time a little bit easier for all of you like if the situation in Berlin wasn't the the exact
thing that you had in mind and the the schooling problems the language not being uh to maybe you are not fitting as
much as you fitted in Japan for example as as as far as you're saying well Germany was it wasn't so
much the fitting in it was impossible to find friends and a social network for me
in Japan because expats are visible you know we can't disguise
21:39
ourselves and when the kids are smaller you all meet up at the school Gates when they get older you don't have that
school gate thing so it was very very difficult to for me to find a social
group but by then internet had sort of you know social media had started so you
know all my friends live my computer hello
people um what about the pets that's something that I escape in Japan but I
know that you move already to Japan with PS you move to Germany with more PS even
or yeah so we moved from the UK to Japan with two young boy cats sadly one of
them died within a week of arriving and which was awful and then um Ry the tabby
cat came with us basically until we um almost left but then we got a puppy in Japan so she's
our Japanese Shiva enu she's a the Japanese national dog and she's our
souvenir from Japan okay so yeah one of the
cats the unexpected ones this will be interesting um yeah so Remy and ke the
dog then came to Germany and then from Germany we went to South Africa and Ry
eventually sadly died and ended up getting a couple of rescue cats git and
sui and yes he's called git and you'll probably see why in a moment
and and then we all came back to the UK where we introduced South African cats
to British winter the dog thought it was amazing the dog thought it was amazing
she's not too good with heat and uh and then we acquired another cat since we've
been back so how about the the the bureaucracy around
moving so many animals between so many countries because I moved two cats from
Germany to Greece but it's two countries inside of the European Union it's pretty straightforward vaccinations uh pet
passport uh European passport and then suddenly you can fly with them that's it
we moved before brexit took over so we got back into the UK in
2018 um you basically have to be very logistical very strategic and know
exactly when the vaccinations need to be done um and preferably get somebody else
to deal with it all for you and the one thing that bothered me in Germany was
24:29
how early they start and I had to go and find the government vet at halfast 6 in
the morning to get a stamp on the dogs papers and yeah of course coming back
into the UK is always tough because of the rabies laws but uh it was straightforward enough it was um we did
pay for somebody to collect them at the airport and drive them to our home which
made all the difference because apparently there was a paperwork issue that they dealt with at 4:00 in
25:02
the morning on our behalf so so we had no idea until they all arrived but as
soon as they arrive it's home a house is a
home what about the adaptation for them because that's doing stuff down
there know you said you said two two South African cats arriving to the
winter in Britain I suppose it's also periods of
adaptation for animals are can be long also they deal with they settle pretty
quickly um sui is a tabby she's usually the one that comes to join in uh she's
actually half African wildcat um because they don't um mind who they get together
with um the other one is I think a Russian blue I'm not sure he was founded
a hedge at two days old so he doesn't know what he is but yeah they they've
settled in really well and uh and the uh the dog loves The Cooler weather over I
say cooler on the hot day but yeah it's well
worth what about coming back to to your to the moment that your husband got
the asked to go to to Africa to South Africa how how how did you dealt with
that another change after two years another move um no I was fine with that
I couldn't wait to get out of Germany and Africa's been a childhood dream as I
wanted to when I was I wanted to go and live in Kenya and work with lions um never quite made it somehow ended up
26:47
with a mortgage and a office job but yeah so Africa for me it absolute dream
the wildlife and it was yeah it was incredible and you know it's
it's sad to leave it's one of the countries that the it's got the nicest people the
people are amazing love the South Africans so you said though that the
people around you were telling you oh it's a dangerous country did you felt that it was a
dangerous country point of time yeah it is dangerous I'm not going to sugar OTA
it's you know it has a lot of issues and I think because I am fairly aware
anyway and I lived in a very dodgy place in London for a while
and yeah it all made sense the sort of StreetWise stuff with an extra level of
you know don't stop at the traffic lights and driving is hysterical getting out of driving African style now I'm
back in the UK is proving a bit tricky even though I've been a long time go roundabouts be good so yeah it
28:05
is a dangerous place but you're given training and you kind of keep your finger on the pulse as to what's going
on and be aware don't just wander around with your phone in your hand looking like a lost
tourist and you can be fine I I assume it happened a little bit of uh also what
Japan at that point where where do you live in in in South Africa exactly like Pretoria where were you in ptor
28:33
yeah did it had also the component that you were saying about the Japan of like you being too tall too blonde to
anything like at the point of time I think South Africa is a little bit more mixtured uh right now but the yeah no I
I'm South Africa is one of the few places I can buy clothes in a normal shop that fit me Germany being another
one um German it's too early they open too
early for for going and they close too early so and they and they close on
Saturday afternoons and Sundays that was weird yes that was very weird yeah but the cafe and cooking is
29:15
good ah yeah that's true like everything that it's related with cakes and uh sitting
in a table to have a coffee or a tea with cakes at 6:00 p.m. or 5:00 p.m. no
6 p.m. it's dinner time already no uh 4 P.M uh yeah know I like
that what about South Africa Traditions uh things that you like how long did you
live there did you did you manage to adapt to to culturally to do things in a
in a I mean you said that you they train you a little bit and you do things in a special way but that's more for a protective perspective but did you man
to anti-hijacking lesson leave you feeling this weird mix of
terrified but empowered and sort of half hoping that someone will come and have a go at you so you can hit
them but no unfortunately we ended up living on a compound I mean everybody lives on a compound anyway but we lived
on an office compound so I did not like that but I joined in um various art
classes and such so I got to meet some wonderful people and have decent
30:32
conversations and and uh but yeah you're a little bit trapped when we very when we first arrived the first day that we
arrived husband was whisked off by the office and um you know it wasn't like they'
been waiting days for him to arrive we arrived when we were supposed to arrive
30:51
and I was completely ignored kind of used to that but nobody had got us any
food in nobody had got us any tea coffee milk and you cannot go you can't just
walk to a shop you can't walk anywhere and there is no public transport so
didn't have a car how am I going to get food I had to go around the estate knocking on doors to try and find somebody just to go and get some milk
and food so go yeah so I didn't like living on that that particular area but
the whole of living in Africa more than made up for it as long as I could get my weekend away and a safari I was happy
nice how old was your daughter back in the time with last month before going
back home you're GNA make me do math I work in years I don't work in ages so we
moved in 2013 to Africa okay so she was 12 and then we moved back to the UK in
2018 okay so she was she was about 16 when we moved back the
UK so she she grow up as a teenager in South Africa then yeah
32:06
yeah yeah it's a real shame because in Japan there's a lot of safety
and a lot of freedom but she was too young to have that and then in
Germany a little bit more freedom but not quite so safe and then when she was
ready for the freedom and the independence can't do it because Africa she still managed to be a
teenager it's okay they have Uber over
there a lot of taxis um you you said in in in a in a
moment I think I understood that you found a office job in South Africa all
of all these years you you were no no and then I get it I get it wrong like you didn't work these years that you
were abroad and or you were your own project I work for myself I I've been selfemployed
for exactly 30 years so wow I just different things yes I I know I I only
look 32 it's fine no I i' um I used to work in the city of London and until
1994 so I've always found my own work I used to be a freelance writer in
Japan um and then and then we're going to go into the whole story of xat child and stuff
but and let's skip that for the second part let me do a couple of last
33:36
questions then for for your expert life B I do a like a last uh recommendation
section but uh before that I wanted to ask you about the moment of going
33:49
back from 12 Years of living abroad back
home how how was that move uh I think a lot of people struggles with the with
34:00
the repatriation and and going back to a place that you called home for so many
years but it's not exactly the home that you left oh it was it was a lot it
was and because I've seen it from if you like an academic side with my work with
other expats but also from my own side it was hard because I didn't want
to come back I knew I had to so that whole it is what it is can't be helped
you know it's it's the way that it has to be but
people there are a lot of people who are desperately homesick when they're overseas and they want to come home and
they either come home expecting it to be the same as when they left and it never
is and you never are the same or they are so desperate to come back
35:00
because they have loathed where they've been living then they everything about moving
back is brilliant and happy and yeah so I I didn't want to come back I had to
come back I'm very good at just sort of dealing with whatever life FRS at me but it was still hard I actually woke up
about a week after got back home and the first thought when I woke up was I want
to go home now well hang on a minute where's home and had a whole day of what the hell was
that all about and but the other thing that I think makes a big difference is
how long you've lived in your country before you move if you move at the age of
2021 and then move back when you're say 3540 that's going to be a big change
because the amount of change that you go through as a person I'd already settled you know I
35:54
was already fully you know fully British
36:00
you know it it wasn't such a major deal it was still bloody hard it was still
36:07
really hard so and I just sort of got used to it all and then covid struck so
that was fun yeah of course I really forgot about that no no
sorry made aot big difference it made a lot of difference to the life of everybody definitely change of course
like what about your daughter like because for her maybe it wasn't like that much like for her maybe it was like
moving to a complete new country she probably knew that she was from there but she didn't remind too much about her
first five life five years of life no it wasn't home to her but she settled
incredibly quickly and um yeah she went she wasn't able to
go to school the British school systems kind of annoying and that they're not very flexible so she was actually out of
school for a year um before starting college so it wasn't the easiest arrival
37:07
and as I say we got back at beginning of 2018 she didn't she started college late
in 2018 did all of 2019 and then covid
37:21
so so it wasn't really a normal return I think
definitely not I mean I think anyone who has moved just before pandemic or during
37:33
pandemic has noticed that I don't know I live four years in Germany but I need to
take out two of them mainly because
of yeah I know that South Africa had a really really rough covid um because you
couldn't even leave your house and maybe maybe it was good that you
were in UK at that point of time already because of yeah I mean it worked out and
you know it is what it is and I will keep saying that because sometimes there's no point in looking back you as
I say you know looking back you're not going that way um yeah you know you have
to not necessarily accept your lot you can make it better but there's no good
wishing for a previous life if you wish for it that badly then go and make it happen no
you actually I I wanted to ask you a last
38:33
question before I do the the recommendations part it's something that I normally ask the other way around I as
people who are living abroad are you thinking to go back home at that point of are you thinking of moving away from
home again at some point in time no no absolutely not um and people find that
very very weird um but my husband actually lives
overseas so he couldn't hack yeah so he lives in Panama uh I stayed in the
UK mainly because I don't like the way that his employers look after the
accompanying Partners that's not something I'm going to go into here but I don't want to be a
part of that game anymore plus being back here allows me to collect more animals so
no I don't even want to go on a plane for a holiday my holidays now are
London I've just come back from my my um sort of twice yearly trip to London
where I absolutely cram everything in theaters parties all sorts brilliant
London is my sole City and I don't actually want to go on a plane
39:53
again too much hassle too much hassle
I mean you live your fur bit of it so I suppose it's also okay to say until here
no like and I did a hell of a lot of traveling beforehand I've backpacked
around South America I've backpacked around southeast Asia I've worked in
America I've worked in Europe I've worked in the Solomon Islands and Australia I've done it all I don't want
to sit on a plane for 12 hours listening to people cough and babies cry
yeah that's the worst part of planes I agree and the waiting hours in the
airport also like yeah that's that's another part of it get there two hours before and we'll
delay your plane for four so cool um so yeah just to close a
little bit this first part I would like you to ask a couple of recommendation uh questions I know it's very difficult now
because you have lived in quite so many countries so um some of it it's making
remind backs but uh the other also it's like okay I don't know if you want to really Compare food from one place or to
the other for example but um yeah the first question it would be like favorite
41:12
food from countries that you lived in like yes I I was those are the questions
41:18
that threw me I have to say um because it's to me it's so long ago I've slept since then but it would have to be
Sashimi any kind of Sashimi not sushi sushi you can but Sashimi is
incredible and it does put people off because it's raw fish but the texture is
41:39
brilliant but frankly any way you eat in Japan is amazing and it is really accessible I I
personally think it's accessible I can't recommend anywhere in Germany or anything in
Germany it's no secret that I didn't enjoy it but in Africa the all the food was
42:00
amazing it's so much fresher than the UK it tastes it the I thought the prices
were excellent and uh yeah the food in Africa I think was the way that food
used to be in the old days oh nice so traditional stuff but they like fresh
and yeah I mean I'm a carnivore so fill it steaks in Africa yeah
course um what about drinks um yeah that's not one that I can answer so you
42:36
know I I I don't drink now and I can't think of any because anything that I did drink
back then I can't remember but drink drinks are kind of the same all the all around the world you know you have a
logger it's kind of the same I'm not I was just wondering I don't know Africa
might have a different like I don't know the kind of mate for example from argentinia like or from oh yeah mate no
I can recommend mate in a very small place near EA in
Peru Rocket Fuel um no they have this um Africa it's called Amarula it's
43:18
a it's a bit sweet but apparently the elephants like to eat the fruit and get
drunk oh really which I'm not sure if that is true but yeah Amarula is the
African drink it would be funny to see an elephant drunk I never seen that
actually like I'm not sure I think it would be scary they were one of the few animals that were disturbingly
43:44
scary what about the music um are you a music person or all like do you
still yeah music is a massive massive part of my psyche I
but I couldn't actually tell you band recommendations okay um I mean I in
Japan I saw the Red Hot Chili Peppers and I saw the who in Berlin I
saw a violinist called David Garrett um and in ptor we saw Iron
Maiden in a field which were brilliant because they were one of the first bands I ever saw and so yeah music to me is
massive and I I can't be without music
and yeah um I did I do have a memory of an amazing buser if you like in Japan on
a road called a Mando where they were playing their um I don't even know what they called which is embarrassing I
should have done my homework so uh playing native instruments and it was incredibly haunting and very
beautiful and yeah
say I would say one last question would be if you had any secret spot or or
place that in the places where you live that you say okay this I would like to share if you're feeling that you don't
want to share it and you don't want to overwhelm the place I totally understand it
also well it's too long ago for Japan and Japan changes really quickly I could
drive take my daughter to school in the morning have a coffee with my girls come back and a house that was on the corner
would have been demolished so Japan changes really quickly my old home doesn't exist anymore um they kind of
45:39
condemned it after the earthquake so places that I remember from Japan
probably aren't there anymore but anywhere is incredible in
Japan Berlin we lived um in a an area outside of the city center called gral
which had the most amazing woodlands and lakes around so they're not secret but
just walk find Woods go inside you can find yourself a secret spot away from
the any crowds and just watch water for a while when it comes to Africa because
you can't really go out and about on your own you have to drive somewhere my
absolute two favorite spots they're not secret they're two Safaris to Safari
46:28
parks within driving distance one's called re Flay which is within ptor and
46:35
it has it has animals took the dog for a walk and we met a zebra she wasn't
46:40
impressed um and the other one is
panburger because it's contained within a very ancient but very huge volcanic
46:53
crater so it's got a natural barrier yeah all right and because it's smaller
47:00
than Krueger I mean anything smaller than Krueger you get to see and experience the most amazing Wildlife
they've got them all they've got the whole the big five and the little five and everything in between five but yeah
a day at pburg absolutely but stay in your car somebody got killed a couple of
weeks ago by not staying in their car oh go okay say the it's a good
recommendation yeah they're not they're notet they're not pets go the elephant lions are not big
cats no it is it is the way that I will die here kitty
kitty I think I SKT the question about restaurants but I don't know if like you really have qu responses because it's
47:51
this is It's years ago so it's complex to respond that so yeah is I did look up
um before and they don't seem to exist anymore
so things change unfortunately I think Co also strike pretty hard and a lot of
48:10
senses and this glos and everything so yeah cool um well with that said I would
say like I think we were already like starting to go into the direction of explaining a little bit so I would say
we can go directly to the to the the second part of the episode hey there everyone if you're
loving this episode so far and you want to stay tuned with other expert experiences make sure to hit the
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48:43
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description and book your session today with that said let's go back to the
episode the expert helping parents move abroad so as I already said a little bit
in the introduction you have multiple projects going around um one of them I
49:24
think the oldest one it's the expert child website um then it came the podcast then
49:31
it came the club um basically the whole concept around it it's
helping parents with uh expert children or it's helping experts so everyone
tells you to Niche down so I Niche down but now I'm niching out
so it it it evolves um just like life just like parenting my expat
sweet I suppose going to go Posh the EXP sweet has expanded
to Encompass as many people as I can so it started off with expat child you're
50:13
quite right and I started that in 2012 uh so we moved from Berlin uh so we
moved from Japan to berim and it took a year to recover
frankly sorry and I could not find
anything online on how to help my daughter with the anxiety that she was
experiencing before we moved before the earthquake take the earthquake out of the picture so there was just nothing
nothing to find apart from horror stories about moving overseas with your children and how it damaged them for
life and created third culture kids who had no roots and ended up in therapy for
many years uh so there was nothing that a stressed mother could
read and easily understand because it was all sort of Coach speak and lots of
words in a sentence that mean nothing so I couldn't really find anything so I turned to normal parents
you know in in the UK how would you explain got some sens of so you know
helped a little bit we had to move so and uh over the summer of 201 uh
2012 I me on holiday in Devon and I started scribbling it all out into a
notebook with the plan of writing a book and while I was in Japan I was I think I
said I was a freelance writer so I was doing a lot of writing and I was also blogging with a what ended up as a very
popular website because I was live blogging throughout the earthquake my personal blog kind of
52:06
turned into something else and um I sort of missed that but I was totally burned
out by the time I got to Berlin didn't want to write ever again but by 2012 I'm
write book write book there I want instant gratification I know what I'm
like I can fiddle around with chapters for years I'm going to write uh website and because I was still
missing my magazine I intent xat child was originally set up a bit like a
magazine um so not not a chronological personal blog but information and it
kind of took off it went a bit nuts got interviewed by all sorts of newspapers within a month or two of it going live
and uh and off it went so yeah cool very
nice it it takes some time some sometimes so to click the correct button and then suddenly everything Sky rocks
very fast no it can happen very fast these kind of things um I think one of the part that you said it was really
interesting that the fact that everything was probably written in a negative way or it was like all horror
horror stories as you as you put it stories yeah you you wanted also like
was part of the objective of writing the the website in a way that it wasn't
always carrying people but actually like it was more like okay turn it
around also from a positive perspective you've been there and it wasn't that bad as as other people were putting it or I
53:49
wouldn't say there was that much strategy involved but it was more of a case of
53:56
plain English I need to write plain English and I need to write informative
articles um that aren't all fluffy psych
you know fake psych speak and you know sort of like okay well I'm
doing my packing now so let's document what I'm doing um and this is what
culture shock is and and then sort of researching to find out how to prepare
children so at the time I'll be honest it was trailblazing I was the only one
that did this and of course once a bandwagon starts everyone jumps on board
so it was bit like Alice running to stand still for after a few years um but
yeah no it was it was purely as an information this is what oh this is what I've learned from first day of school
tips and this is what I've learned about what happens with a kid with culture shock
and how they express it and but put into a was it much coming from from a
personal thing or from your own personal experience or you were also like trying to do like research like trying to
interview other parents who were outside or like I don't know friends of yours that had children at that point of time
it was there's very there's a bit of personal experience um but due to my
I suppose my background my personality my skills it became more of a a research
55:34
project to find out how other people and then sort of mixing it all into one and extrapolating a a gen generic because
what I wanted to make sure was it it could apply to anybody from any country going to any country when I was first
searching for support I was just finding oh where's the best mother and child
place in this particular Canton in Canada or in this street in Austria
56:02
where can I go and get a decent coffee it was too too precise it wasn't important yeah
so yeah it was deliberately the only deliberate part of it was making it
General so for anyone in going to any country because you can't possibly know
56:21
everything about every country in the world no that's for sure impossible but at the
end like I don't know in your case you wanted to give general
information I suppose there's people who specialize or no no I want to give information about gree and how gree
works and that's okay also but exactly yeah and they have teams and they're specialized in that
and yeah that that was the reason what about team wise you you
always did it alone it has been always a solo project or or like you had other people involved
no it's always been me you I've had people um guest expert you know WR um
especially when I was moving I sort of put a call out and because everybody wants to get their name out there so I
had lots of offers of yeah I'll right while you're moving so that was cool that gave me a whole different aspect to
it as well so it's always nice to have people around also that are willing to do that
what about the podcast when when does that happen when did you decide I want to do a podcast okay so expat child kept
going and going and going and then we were in Africa and expat
ability was born for a different reason and it was more of a way of gathering
all sorts of different articles that have appeared on expat child into one
site so that became expat ability because my brain goes yeah we need a new
one so that's what that did um and then mve back and I started making offers for
oneto ones and support and um things when I got back in 2018 but the expa
ability chat podcast started in the middle of the pandemic everyone was saying oh you got
a nice voice my voice sounded different I'll explain why in a
minute so everyone was saying well you need to do a podcast you need to do a podcast all
right I'll do a podcast so I started doing a podcast because so many people
were moving back in such difficult circumstances during the um pandemic
they didn't know if that this was the end of the world at the beginning of it um they were moving back home to be with
their family but within a couple of weeks they oh my God why we why are we here
so the first one was about repatriation and it kind of went on because as I say all of these articles there are over 400
articles on expat child and some of them are about the same topics so the podcast
was a way of me bringing them into one episode with some extra research that
have you know of grown up over the years so I started doing the podcast as I say
in the middle of the pandemic because I got bored with making banana bread and needed to be out the way so I came pod
it's also pandemic child so I I will not say anything about that oh I'm glad it's
59:31
not just Mickey that is brilliant oh no no no no actually not like I had an interview last week and she has another
59:39
podcast called exp podcast and she also started during pandemic I think there was a lot of people starting podcast
during pandemic so don't worry the difference is who is still alive and who
is who this podcast is still recording which is also very true because I'm not
uh because in 2022 I had to have an operation on my throat and managed to do
a few more episodes for um in 2023 but that was it it was too much so I stopped
recording my podcast in 2023 I still get emails can I be on your podcast go have
1:00:18
a look uh but because the topics are evergreen they'll still be useful but
you know the only ones that aren't you know being you know sympathizing with people during the pandemic and such and
talking about the pandemic but in general they're all Evergreen so yeah so the the podcast was
a a thing to reach different people and you know people who prefer to listen
rather than read so it was an interesting experience for you it was
like putting like pieces together like our different articles on these 400
impressive articles that you had in there but also doing a little bit more research you also interviewed people
like you also get the guest uh episodes only um only about three or
four okay because it was my intention that it would be makes sense that that's one of the
few things I've had strategy with but uh yeah it was a way of summarizing the
many many articles so on a topic of choosing a school you know there's
probably 15 articles that just appeared into one uh one episode so nice very
cool what about the sponsibility club itself when it comes is that the part
where it comes more like coach related is that the like when it comes the and
because I know you have like master classes now you're doing also oneon-one calls with people like is all of that
1:02:00
coming through that most is yeah kind of master classes are the
most commonly asked questions that I have on one to one calls so it it was xack guilt for a
while and then should I stay or should I go and those are the main ones
1:02:27
so they they just get recorded and then they're uploading the expat ability Club is undergoing a lovely new
1:02:36
uh oh I don't know a reincarnation if you like because I'm moving out of expat
child my child's left me and gone and grown up and stuff and so I don't want
to talk about children anymore no that's not quite the case but I want to expand
and because like life changed for so many people over covid and so many people now work from home and they can
they' seen the other side they want to work from anywhere so I'm helping create
location Independence and move abroad and so I can do the whole move abroad thing and I
can do the whole location Independence bring them all together into the expa ability club and it's an information and
advice Hub club membership so that's what the current the current focus in
1:03:29
life is I should do one for X pet shouldn't I oh yeah you should definitely I mean you
have experience with it so that's a that's the next Niche to rules too
much so yeah it's the the club is a um a
1:03:49
sort of a distilling again of all of the information and insight that I've had over the years that I've got
1:03:56
plus extras from incredible um experts in their field
1:04:03
and a chance to talk with me oneon-one
1:04:08
and get my information uh get my advice and info without coming on a onetoone
1:04:14
call with me I need to protect my time I need to protect my voice
1:04:20
and doing oneto ones is very intense so they they're save you know for for other
1:04:29
people makes sense very nice um so that's the project that opened a little
1:04:35
bit the niche that you were saying no not not yeah not just parents anymore um
1:04:42
what I was Finding was it did start off with parents and about their children but then also expat Partners those of us
1:04:50
who move overseas as a trailing space we hate that phrase but it's the one that gets Ed so we quite often have to give
1:04:58
up our jobs our careers to support our other half and sometimes the company
that they're working for are great sometimes they're not sometimes they offer you a job sometimes you're not
suited to working for them and it can be quite a shock to the system and to
Identity you're just sort of bit of a plus one is the new phrase
I've heard which I'm throwing around all over the place so yeah so it started moving to expat partners and now anybody
who wants to move overseas anybody who wants to be um I know fan life digital Nomad all
this sort of stuff cool um then I will ask one last
question probably and so we can close this section also and it would be like how does a day for you look like uh with
all these products like what what do you do like normally with it are are you really like spending time writing
articles for for one or the other what what how with your normal no I don't write articles anymore
um so expat child it it wasn't paused I mean it's all still incredibly relevant I'll
update every now and again and republish and so on um I don't record any podcasts
1:06:21
anymore and everything else kind of ticks over I mean automations are in incredible for social media
1:06:28
and yeah my I don't have an average working day I've written down in answer
to your how how does a work day look for you hurting
1:06:40
cats Paradise where do I need to sign in yeah so it isn't something that I I'm
1:06:47
not very good at um blocking out time and having a set day uh you know I sort
of have certain things that I do every week twice a week whatever but it it's
not either it's not even reactive it's uh I'll have uh meetings planned and
I'll have meetings with my mentors planned and that's about as far as I go
and then I'll just sort of respond to emails or I'll have a brain wave of something but I'm not actually producing
1:07:21
content for the website or the podcast anymore and those were the real time
sucks and they had to be released into the wild for the sake of my
sanity but because they're yeah because they're Evergreen
they're they're valid and they're relevant so just a few tweaks here and there and
uh and they they work on their own so they don't need updating
much well um then with that I think the last question it's always more or less
the same I suppose you responded a little bit about it whoever is interested on checking uh um the exper
ability podcast it's out there the expert child uh articles the all website
it's out there so for whoever it's interesting this uh it's still available
and it will continue to still to be available but right now your focus is a little bit more in theability club so I
suppose that would be the place to find you if someone wants to find you around
if people want to find me just search online uh for my name I am everywhere or
you can email me at hello xail Donnet hopefully that comes across okay on the
sound uh but yeah just search for my name you'll find me there's only one of me
so well uh with that said thanks a lot thank you very much ARL for for taking
the time and the boys uh to to take one
hour of your time and your boys uh to we come back to the podcast scene a little
bit for for for such an amount of time it has been real pleasure to have you
Mar incredible story it's an honor to be here and it's so much more fun answering
questions than trying to think of my own things it's uh absolutely fantastic thank you so
much you've been listening to expat experts the podcast that takes you
around the world through the stories of those who've lived it subscribe now to
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